When you start looking at and doing research into the subject or rejection in personal relationships and marriage counseling, unfortunately is a theme that seems to run through this area and it is infidelity.
Not that you’d know this when you look at stories of relationship breakdowns that you see in the media with celebrities and politicians for example or casual acquaintances who breathlessly gossip about the latest breakup in the office.
There’s a good chance, unless you have been involved in a situation such as this yourself that you will be easily fooled and not recognise a relationship breakdown for what it actually is.
For instance, you will hear someone talk about how they just grew apart and now, within weeks, seemingly as if by magic, they found a new partner! Who could doubt the new lovebirds!
It’s worth bearing in mind that Dr Willard Harley of Marriage Builders, a clinical psychologist now in his 80’s says that in all his years of practice, he has never seen a long term relationship break down without there being a third party in the shadows somewhere. Let that sink in for a minute.
Of course you will hear that ‘our marriage was over’ and then “I met someone else”. Of course this is really not true despite the lies and assurances received from the involved parties.
The betrayed spouse will of course be subjected to an escalating array of responses from their unfaithful partner, often starting with outright denial and gas lighting their partner telling them they are crazy and of course nothing is going on. “I love you, but I’m just not in love with you”. We just grew apart…
This is why I got so frustrated as the drama surrounding the Deputy Prime Minister of Australia was revealed over the last couple of weeks and the ignorance as per usual of the media and even his political colleagues.
The common refrain was “we don’t know what happens in peoples marriages” um… yes we pretty much do; “his marriage had ended and he found love with a new partner” um… sure… please get me a bucket. This man, Barnaby Joyce spends 2 nights at home in a 6 month period in the pursuit of his career with the full support of his wife and then what….. his ‘lover’ (a woman herself engaged to be married to someone else) just fell on his penis and is now soon to give birth to his baby.
I’m going to say right off the bat that Barnaby spent way too little time at home with his wife and their 4 daughters and too much time at work with some stray woman stroking his ego and they ‘fell’ into an affair. His marriage then ended and his attempts to recover his marriage were half hearted to say the least and now he has a new partner. Unfortunately, this was totally predictable.
So let’s have a look at Rejection in Personal Relationships.